Loss is an emotional time in a person’s life, we all go through it, and we learn and grow from it, each and every day. It’s that strong hurt or painful feeling in your chest, that ping in your stomach that just won’t go away. Coping with a huge loss in your life is one of most difficult things you can do. We have all experienced this feeling in one way or another. I recently felt these tumbling emotions not too long ago. In October, I lost my dog, my best friend, of fourteen years, Blacky from old age. We must always remember the good times we had with that special someone or something in our lives. The key however, is learning what they have taught you. Blacky taught me a very important thing about life. What Blacky taught me was don’t judge a book by its cover or in his way a dog by its collar. It might seem silly a dog, or any animal for that matter, teaching you a lesson. However, its true Blacky taught me you should never judge someone by appearance, or what they have, or don’t have.
Animals are truly amazing creatures, but the one thing they never do is place judgments on you. When I started school I started to realize kids had different social groups. I didn’t think I had to be in a group, I’m me and I didn’t know where that group was. I didn’t and still don’t label myself as anything different other than Brian. I started to be bullied by other kids because I didn’t have what they thought were nice clothes. I was also picked on because I wore glasses. The other kids used to pick on me, calling me four eyes and other mean names. When I was in sixth grade something horrible happened to me and I will never forget it. One day at school, during recess, I was playing with some other kids, when all of a sudden some mean boys in my class started to pick on me. What happened next was so surreal to me in such a way I was breathless. They pushed me and took my glasses and broke them in half. Being a little kid, it was the scariest thing ever; it was so bad I went home early that day. I cried; I cried a lot and my mom took care of the school problem for me. I was with Blacky and told him what happened and said “those guys are jerks.” Then my view on other kids changed and I became what I feared the most that day at school. I also became a bully by placing judgment and not accepting other kids.
Then when I reached eighth grade it was a good and bad year for me. During this time a lot of pre-teens where being mean and hurtful to one another. People where two-faced and harsh to one another on every aspect I could think of. I was being mean and started to place judgment on other pre-teens my age. I had my own little group of friends and we make fun of people. We make fun of physical appearance how someone had weird gross teeth. To someone who didn’t have a cool clothes or nice iPod. Then one day a new boy transferred into class. He was very different kind of boy he wore band T-shirt and skinny jeans from Hot Topic which not a lot of people where into. He had longer hair than other boys in the class. He was out casted right away from everyone in class. I was also mean to this boy to just because he was different looking than me. One day the teacher assigned the glass a group project which we had to work in pairs of two. I was stuck with the out casted boy and people didn’t like me hanging around him. So I didn’t like him even more because he made me less popular. Than something happened it was unexpected and I didn’t know how to react. The boy turns to me and says “why does everyone in class hate me so much?” I was so surprised I didn’t know how to respond to him. Seeing the hurt in his eyes and that sad look on his face changed me. It was such a shock that I was hurting him that way and I felt like such a jerk to do that to someone else. I remembered right then and there how it felt to be out casted by others and hated it and remember telling Blacky how those kids where so mean. Just then I realized I was no better that the little kids in grade school who picked on me. Then I said “I don’t know they don’t like how you dress” trying to make the conversation and not trying to ignore that he spoke. He then said “I like how I dress its different I know but I think it’s cool” Everything hit me so fast I was so shocked and from that day I realized I would never judge people that harshly ever again. The boy and I became good friends and people didn’t like this but I didn’t care. His style grew on me and he helped let the real me out that has been locked away. I locked myself away because I didn’t want to be judge and just fit in.
High school comes around the corner and it was a huge change from any learning I ever had. I noticed all these social cliques in place at the school. I went to Bristol County Agricultural High School. There were more girls than guys at this school and I noticed and much more judgment and fewer acceptances of others. I already realized who I was and not going to change myself or be bullied by no one ever again. I was not going to turn into that bully either. I understood the whole picture the social dynamics of people. I became a nicer person and didn’t place judgment on to anyone in any way shape or form. I was liked by a lot of girls and some guys in the school. Naturally not all people get along but I made sure I never picked on anyone’s faults. I have my own faults to bear why pick on someone else’s? I want to be friends with everyone I came in contact with in school. I didn’t care on what grade level either I made friends in all grades with all kinds of people. It felt good to see the variety of people I was friends with it felt nice. All the girls who love anime and dress like me with skinny jeans and Pac Sun store clothing. Also the people who are very smart and helped me in English. Even the popular girls who thought I was so nice and sweet and thought I was the best. Even helping some guys who didn’t understand math to well it’s a good feeling to help everyone.
We just need to learn and see that even with a loss in our life we need to see how the huge impact of that individual changed you as a person. A piece of that person or animal can change you and help shape you to who you are today. I am glad Blacky did this for me and if he was here today I would thank him. I am going to grow as an individual and take this huge important life lesson I learned with me throughout my life. I think it’s an important way to think and see the world this way because people tend to not see what hurt they may cause others. Respecting and understanding a person is important before you judge anyone and I’m glad I learned this at a young age. I can’t lie and say I don’t ever judge people we all do its human nature. I do however never jump to any conclusions about anyone and see how that person is in time. I learn and see why that person may act, feel and do what they do for a certain reason. I think more people in this world should see people in a different view and not label and stereotype one another. I love meeting new people and seeing how people are different from myself. I always respect people on how they are and present themselves. I wish Blacky was here so he can see how he has helped me change and grow into the nice proud individual I am today. He would also love the saying “Never judge a dog by his collar.”
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